Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
