No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
