how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
