Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
