He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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