Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
