She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
