I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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