I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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