As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
