better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
