i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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