Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude i'm inner monologue high
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
