He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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