He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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