Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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