I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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