So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
