So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
