Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
