oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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