Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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