hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
