I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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