i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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