it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
