What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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