you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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