Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
