At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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