Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
