Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
