He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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