Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
