I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
