last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
