I didn't shave. On purpose
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
