Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Come on in and take your pants off
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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