i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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