hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
