So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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