my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
