I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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