Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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