I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
