The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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