Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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