he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
