dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
