I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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