I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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