I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
