OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize