I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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