What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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